The Littlest Hobo Has a Time Machine

Summary: Things in the last arbitrarily defined orbital period of the earth that were “good” (possibly labeled ‘Best of’) - non-enumerated, non-delineated and

True Grit, The Canadian Women’s Hockey Team Celebrating, Parks and Recreation’s triumphant second season, Sprawl II (Mountains beyond Mountains), the most simultaneously heart-breaking and idiotic beautiful thing, best shows on channels nobody has - Party Down, Louie, Archer, Internet fad with no staying power, Conan O’Brien’s heroic journey progressing to the return with the elixir phase, Best Juice - Bolthouse farm’s Mango Lemonade, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World, Broken Social Scene live in that old church, Super Mario Bros. X, The Community episodes “Contemporary American Poultry”, “Modern Warfare” and “Basic Rocket Science,” The Avs’ victory dance, When the Popular meme “Sad Keanu” collided with “Sad Don Draper,” Party Down ending as an unspoiled collection of 20 excellent episodes, takeout from Baan Thai, Wavves, The defeats of would-be policy makers like Sharron Angle and Christine O’Donnell prior to their leaving a distinct odor on the US government, Christian Dior Denim Flow, My decision to finally ignore The Office as it continues to die a slow death, When those poor, brave CGI toys accept death in Toy Story 3, Bill Hader playing Alan Alda on SNL’s fake Back to the Future auditions, Will Ferrel’s bizarre retort to Mark Wahlberg in The Other Guys, That feeling when, in light of every horrible thing that goes on to facilitate such tremendous and empty events, a faint glimmer of national pride rises in the chest, Mad Men 4x07 “The Suitcase,” Sentimental X’s, Gil Scott Heron’s I’m New Here, The absolute absurd balls-out enormity of All of the Lights,to say nothing of Ye’s little video project, Gordo resigning, Forsberg playing (briefly) in the Olympics, Jon Stewart’s daily responses to the insanity from those opposing a Mosque in Manhattan, Tim Lilburn’s performance as a young ‘ingenue’ in the supposed debut performance of Mina Loy’s The Pamperers at Open Space, Will Forte as Jenna Maroney’s Jenna Maroney-impersonator boyfriend on 30 Rock, Maria Bamford, Carl Sagan’s overwhelming return to the public consciousness…

and such.

“Somerset Maugham’s edict to write what you know is among the dumbest pieces of advice ever given about writing, and it has recently become more harmful than even he realized. The maxim of ‘write what you know’ is revolting self-help propaganda: you’re good enough, you don’t need to keep learning, your experience of the world is valid and complete in itself.
“The number of possible life experiences is dwindling. Eventually we will all have one life experience, distinguishable only in small moments not accounted for by communal art. What draws divergent backgrounds into the American amalgam is the shared experience of life reflected in art, but the people who create this perception in the film medium are drastically limited by their own surroundings. The last thing you have to do is start making films about people markedly different from yourself, but the first thing you have to do is stop making films about people identical to yourself.”

(via thisrecording)

Christmas Movie Apocalypse

24th
- The Santa Clause (Mum’s pick)
- Elf (Sister’s pick)
- It’s a Wonderful Life
- Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown
25th
- Home Alone 2 (My pick)
- Mad Men Season 1 
Boxing Day
- World Junior Hockey Championship, Canada vs Russia (Dad’s pick)

I Can’t Wait for Summer Any Longer

I can’t wait for summer any longer
it’s a shame, really
making me fall in love with you in winter
when I’ve stripped off your clothes
when I see you in the freezing air
your arms wrapped around your bare, shivering body
when I see your face covered in tears
darling
you’re so beautiful
you must forgive my rudeness, my impertinence
I only wanted to see what you looked like in a skirt
I can’t wait for summer any longer

- Sheng Xing

The Chairs Sit Out in Winter…

The chairs sit out in the winter, all in all
three of them – coldness being muscle –
spaced out in a line,
terrified of logic. Among angels,
there are not three who could
sit themselves down in them, waiting for
the barber who skates across a river of ice, though
ahead is still a large mirror,
magpies tidying away small coins.

The wind’s weaving loom weaves the surroundings.
The Void is Lord, remote
he stands on the outskirts, exhaling warm air,
features painted heavily, counting the chairs:
without touching it, he could eliminate
that middle position,
if he were to transplant that chair on the left
all the way to the farthest right, forever –

Such an assassin at the heart of
the universe. Suddenly,
in among the three chairs, that unwarranted
fourth chair, the one and only,
also sits out in the winter. Just as it was that winter…
… I love you.

- Zhang Zao

So Quiet

If you say to someone, It’s snowing, it’s snowing! It’s snowing…
They say, Ah, really! How troublesome, how will I get to work…
Luckily I don’t know people like that
The people I know are all unconventional enough, childlike enough.
Just enough.
The first snow also came in the evening.
Last night was like a fairy tale.
On Peace Street, turning to the street, stopping, buying a cigarette.
Silvery-blue snowflakes, gently floating down, without making a sound.
The night is deep, deep deep.

- Yin Lichuan

ack thppt.

Rex Reed, critic of the people… and his lowest rated movies versus metascore

True Grit (Reed: 25, Metascore: 83) - “In the numbing hands of pretentious filmmakers Joel and Ethan Coen…”

Inception (Reed: 25, Metascore 74) - “the kind of pretentious perplexity in which one or two reels could be mischievously transposed, or even projected backward, and nobody would know the difference.”

Somewhere (Reed: 12, Metascore 52) - “The latest calcified bore by Sofia Coppola is less pretentious than “Marie Antoinette” but every bit as inertly stupefying as “Lost in Translation.”

Don McKay (Reed: 25, Metascore 50) - “A ludicrously pretentious train wreck masquerading as a movie.”

The key word here is pretentious. How noble.

Mary Lynn Rajskub - hotter than smoking crack?

“I give you private information on corporations for free and I’m a villain. Mark Zuckerberg gives your private information to corporations for money and he’s ‘Man of the Year.’” - Bill Hader’s Julian Assange provides a little of the ol’ social critique.